Enka
by BadRomance-ao3
Summary: Since discovering his race abandoned him Zim's been more dysfunctional than usual, making trouble for Dib and therefore, trouble for Gaz. None of Gaz's usual means of shutting Dib up are working anymore so she decided to go to the source, Zim, and resolve the issue. *BEING REVISED AS OF JULY 2018*
1. It's Officially Dib's Fault

Normally Gaz wouldn't have paid attention to anything as insignificant as Zim's mood, but it's really starting to affect her life. It's a chain reaction, really. Zim starts acting even a degree different than usual and then Dib almost talks her ear off about it until she threatens to tear off his ears first. Then he seems to forget that after around two days and starts monologuing around her again.

This time is especially bad because Zim isn't just a degree or two off. He's completely flown off the handle. So much so that the entire school has noticed and is forming a wider circle around him than they make around Gaz. Which means Dib has been in "code red" mode for over a week now and it needs to stop before she has to actually show him the meaning of terror. Since the usual ass-kicking doesn't seem to be getting through to her unusually neurotic brother, Gaz has to do the unthinkable.

Go talk to Zim and ask what is going on.

 _You did this Dib. You forced me to go talk to Zim about his feelings. Whatever happens after this is officially your fault._

The last thing Gaz wanted to do was go out of her way to talk to him, so she figures she'll ditch Dib at lunch tomorrow and do it then. But then she has a stroke of luck. Kind of.

Gaz was assigned to Strike Three detention. Otherwise known as The End. If she screws up after this, that's it, Underground classes. How did Gaz let herself get so close? Kind of underwhelming, actually. First, Gaz never showed up to regular detention. Next, the school threatened to get her Dad involved and that's how she got into Strike Two. Then, after convincing her English teacher's wife to finally divorce his lame ass, she's been sent to Strike Three. Gaz is of the opinion that the last one was total bullshit because in reality, she saved both of them years of emotional damage before it ended violently by simply revealing the truth of their relationship. Also, his wife can do much can do better.

Regardless, she is in Strike Three with all of her fellow dumbass convicts who got caught, wondering if her life would be more interesting if she got sent into the Underground classes on purpose when in walks the little string bean.

He's brooding right now, but this morning he was too bat-shit for his mostly desensitized class. Gaz had no idea anyone could throw a used spit-ball _through_ a kid's eye. Or that telling the guidance counselor his yellow tie was ugly would make him shed real tears.

There are only two other students in Strike Three with Gaz and Zim. One is the most embarrassing wannabe gangster she's ever seen and he looks like he's going to cry and piss himself any second out of sheer fear. He's been on the phone with his mom for the past few minutes and by the sound of it, she's an attorney. Which means he's in no danger of being sent to the Underground.

The other is a boy with bright red hair and enough facial piercings to be in a metal band. Gaz doesn't know how he got himself put here, but he keeps cracking jokes about the Underground classes to the rich gangster kid, bringing him closer to tears and loving any minute of it.

Since there are so few people in the room and plenty of seats there's no reason for Zim to sit anywhere near Gaz, so he doesn't. He sits in the back left corner of the room. Sulking and silent.

For over an hour the room feels like some strange limbo of Zim and Gaz being absolutely silent on opposite sides of the room, the wanna-be's sniveling, and the redhead's snickering. With only a few minutes left on their sentence, Gaz knows she's running out of time to make her move. She reluctantly leaves her seat in the middle-right side of the room to the desk in front of Zim.

Instead of ignoring her to continue pouting like she half expects him to, he almost jumps out of his seat. He's startled by her presence. Like he didn't even realize there was anyone else in the room until she appeared in front of him. Like he didn't even realize _he_ was in the room.

"Dib-sister! What are you doing here?!" He shouts at Gaz, finding his balance on the stationary chair. She physically leans away from the volume of his voice and swallows her steadily rising temper before replying between grit teeth. She _really_ doesn't appreciate noisy people.

"They say no good deed goes unpunished."

Zim opens his mouth to respond but she talks over him.

"Lower your voice, I'm right in front of you. And call me Gaz already."

He glowers at her for interrupting him but surprisingly doesn't reply. He just looks away and grumbles some things in what she assumes is Irken – talking to himself as if Gaz isn't there. Something is definitely wrong with him, and not in the usual way. Talking to himself isn't new and being distracted isn't new, but he seems so… defeated. Zim's supposed to be too delusional to know when he's defeated.

Even though Gaz can't understand him, she decides she doesn't like his tone. She growls at him to shut him up.

"Why did you come sit with Zim anyway?" He snaps at her, bouncing back from her mild intimidation way faster than their fellow students. It's starting to really piss her off.

"Because you've been having psychotic mood swings and it's driving Dib crazier, and that means it's driving me crazier. I don't know what you're going through but sort it out already before I make your life a hell of a lot worse." Zim scoffs at her glare.

He _scoffs_.

"Please Dib-sister. You may be powerful and frightening normally, but there's nothing you can threaten Zim with anymore. No matter how hard Zim tries, this pathetic planet cannot dish out sufficient punishment and neither can you."

Her jaw drops and the room goes silent. The rich gangster's whimpers have stopped, the red head's taunts have stopped, and they are both looking at Gaz and Zim. The rich kid looks shocked and frightened and the redhead looks riveted.

Gaz doesn't respond or wait for Zim to change his mind and beg for mercy. She grabs Zim's head with her hands and takes action. She slams Zim's head down into his desk face first with an impressive amount of violence and lets it bounce off the surface. Behind her, the rich kid lets out a little shriek of fright and the redhead experiences a short burst of hysterical laughter.

Before Zim fully recovers from the shock and pain of a possible concussion and likely broken nose if he had one Gaz grabs him by his collar and yanks his face close to her own. His eyes are dazed, alarmed, and completely void of their previous emotional fog. _Good, it's a start._

"I don't know what the fuck drove you to be _this_ suicidal, but I swear to you I can show you punishment it that's what you're looking for. Watch your tone around me, _insect_."

Then, Zim does something unusual again.

"… Zim would like to invite Miss Gaz over after detention." He says, barely louder than a whisper. He's got an unfamiliar look in his eyes and it takes Gaz an immense amount of self-control to not pull away from him. It's not threatening. There's nothing in his eyes that gives her the unfamiliar sensation of being prey. But it's strange, like hearing a foreign instrument that she doesn't know if she likes the tune of.

She forces herself to maintain eye contact and slowly lets go of his shirt, uncurling her fingers with a deliberate show of control. She's letting go of him now because she's decided to, not because she felt compelled to.

"Fine… But only because I can understand not wanting to have a serious talk in front of an audience," She rudely gestures to the two boys on their right, "and because 'Miss Gaz' is an improvement." Now that her problem is at least set up to be solved she turns away from him to sit sideways in the chair rather than retreating to her original desk location. Gaz pulls out her notebook to doodle to make the next hour pass quicker, trying to ignore Zim's eyes burning holes in the back of her neck and the stupid grin of the redhead who's looking at her like she's his soulmate.

When the latch on the door finally releases with a clunk the maximum security students are set free for the evening. Gaz snaps her notebook shut and walks to the door, not acknowledging the alien behind her with even the slightest change in her confident pace and posture. Despite her hostile presence that she wears like a second skin, she is stopped by the redhead who had completely abandoned teasing the rich kid.

"Hey, Gaz, right?" He asks. She's mildly annoyed that he's taking up her time, but so far he's made no egregious errors. Zim, on the other hand, hisses from behind her with palpable anger.

"Yes. What is it?" She decides it's probably best to keep this short. She does have an angry alien to counsel.

"I just, uh, haven't really seen you around and I figured there's no way I coulda missed a girl like you." Zim's moved in even closer to her and has practically glued himself to her back, glaring darkly over her shoulder. While Gaz is definitely annoyed by the redhead's words the unsolicited contact from Zim is worse so she elbows him in the abdomen sharply to make him back off. The redhead's smile only grows wider and he keeps talking. "After dealing with that green kid wanna meet up sometime? I've got a great idea to prank the principal and I think you'd be interested."

"I'm not much of a prankster, but thanks." She replies before continuing down the hall with a seething Zim trailing a full pace behind once again. The interaction went surprisingly well, most guys with that much attitude manage to say something disrespectful about her body within the first two sentences.

Unfortunately, Zim seems to have gotten a different impression and has been hissing to himself in Irken, despite having left the guy behind five minutes ago. But Gaz is used to listening to Dib ramble on the way home and this isn't quite as bad. It's certainly quieter and she doesn't have to deal with the agony of understanding Zim's words.

Once inside Zim's house, Gaz throws her stuff on the ground and spreads out over his couch like she owns the place.

"Alright, Zim. You invited me here so I'm assuming you're ready to talk. Unless this is another kidnapping attempt. If it is you better have gotten the good shit this time or I'm out of here." When she was younger Zim had tried to kidnap her to use her against Dib but he had made the fatal mistake of not getting the good snacks she demanded in exchange for playing along. Needless to say, that plot of Zim's was foiled within the hour. Only because Gaz was feeling generous that day.

But this really doesn't seem like another plot to her. Zim is standing in front of her, his hands clasped in front of his hips twisting his fingers anxiously as he struggles for words, looking exceedingly uncomfortable in his own home.

But Gaz has never been known for her patience.

"Spit it out already!" She snaps.

He jumps a bit but quickly stammers out: "Dib-sister… I-I am about to share some very confidential information. You will not tell the Dib?" She raises an eyebrow in response. If it's that secret it's odd that he would ever consider confiding in the sister of his sworn enemy. _Not that I would, but it doesn't make a lot of sense._

"Zim, if there's anyone who can respect and maintain privacy, it's me." Along with her temper, Gaz is known for being private. "Also, you called be Dib-sister again. Stop. You'll only perpetuate your own suspicions that I have a connection to him. Go back to 'Miss Gaz.'"

Zim nods in understanding but remains stiff as he finally confesses. "Miss Gaz. It has recently come to Zim's attention that… My- _Zim's_ home planet has abandoned him. Zim… Zim is defective.


	2. Good Parts of Life Come From Being Bad

Zim confessed everything to Gaz. Absolutely everything, as far as she can tell. He must have spilled everything that's been plaguing him since he came to Earth. It's been hours and so far she's only interrupted him to ask him to sit in an uncharacteristic display of sympathy. She had expected him to take a seat on the couch next to her, but instead, he sat on his knees on the floor in front of her and hasn't moved an inch since. He tells her all about his planet's rejection of him due to his height despite his "stupendous" displays of destructive power, his struggles to live on Earth, and dedication to his mission which has all turned out to be a lie. His life has just proven to be one bad joke.

Honestly, she's surprised he's handling the weight of reality as well as he is. Even so, she does think that he's to blame for a good portion of his own struggles. So her sympathy really can only stretch so far.

In hindsight, she should've seen this coming. While Gaz has never spent enough time thinking about Zim and his situation before to make any serious guesses there were signs that even she couldn't ignore, as much as she may have wanted to over the years. But it all makes sense, especially with what she Gaz actually learns of Irk's culture during this counseling session.

Some things she already knew from Dib, such as Zim's leaders just being taller than everyone else, but the new information she hears Dib would do anything for. For all the things Gaz learns – how Irkens are mostly manufactured, the Control Brain, some Pak basics – one thing still doesn't add up. Not why Zim is different, no, there are always factory errors and at the rate, Irkens are produced defects are a statistical inevitability. But the one question that's the most relevant right then and there.

 _Why the fuck is he telling me this?_ Gaz knows she asked but… Some of this information seems pretty sensitive. What is going on here?

Gaz had never been very close to Zim growing up. The extent of their cooperation has always been staying out of each other's way, with a few exceptions. She didn't really have any expectations when she approached Zim earlier that day but if she had to make a list of how she thought today would go this heavy dump of information and vulnerability would've been at the bottom.

The sun is starting to set and Zim's gone quiet now, head bowed and eyes downcast. His hands are in his lap and he's been fidgeting and tugging on his uniform like crazy, a stark contrast to the disciplinary programming of his species that he likely missed out on completely from his conception. For the first time, she does actually feel a little bad for Zim. Everyone faces rejection and disappointments in life. That much she's certain of. And everyone has to learn to cope with them in their own way. But it sounds like that's something no Irken is ever taught. They're either born with the right coding, have to learn to hide being defective, get terminated or… be Zim.

Gaz shudders at the very thought of having to be Zim. She might not have the right 'coding' for her own society but at least she's not a mess like he is. Gaz has discipline.

"Zim," she calls his attention with all of the calm confidence she has. He could certainly use some of it right now. "Thank you for sharing this." Gaz isn't always as awful as she acts. Her aggression is not without control. Zim must understand that. Or maybe he doesn't and will be disappointed Gaz didn't lash out. Either way, he's not looking at her. Gaz does not make him. Not yet. "But why did you tell me?"

He doesn't say anything for a long time, and she starts to wonder if she should leave to give him space to think through his answer, but then he speaks up.

"… Zim told Miss Gaz because she asked." He says softly, but so clearly Gaz couldn't have misheard.

"What do you mean?" She pries. "You would've told anyone who asked?"

Zim takes a deep breath. "Most likely, yes." He raises his gaze to meet hers. "However, Zim is now glad Gaz was the one to ask."

Her blood runs cold at his answer, but then she is struck by a hot rush of anger.

"Fuck yeah it was a good thing I asked first! Why the fuck would you have just told anyone who asked?! You can't be so stupid that you don't understand how dangerous that could've been!" She snaps at him and Zim flinches back. He's being reckless but not in the same way he was in Strike Three. He's practically carved himself open for her and she's digging her fingers into the gash.

"People around here might be dumb but you could've been taken away! Maybe not because they would believe you, but certainly because they'd think you were out of your mind! And on top of being crazy, you've confessed to committing multiple crimes! Who knows what would have happened if you-" In her rage, Gaz rose from her seat to stand over Zim as she brutalizes him for opening up to her.

She cuts herself off from his well-deserved chewing-out for his lack of self-preservation when she realizes what she's doing. Now that Gaz has snapped out of her rant she's able to notice his expression. He looks startled, to say the least, but his eyes are wide with something else and his mouth has gone soft. Something like the way he looked at her after she busted his head on that desk. He's completely stopped fidgeting and stares openly at her with rapt attention.

Gaz lets out a heavy sigh and runs her hands through her hair, pushing her bangs back before letting them fall back into her face. She takes a deep breath before speaking again in a much more measured voice. "That's idiotic and you know it. Don't just tell anyone who asks shit like that. I swear, no human would or should dump the kind of emotional wreckage onto just anyone who asks. It's even worse for you and your situation." He averts his eyes again in shame and she sits back down. "Zim, why would you do that to yourself?" Her calm demeanor is back in place.

"Because… Zim is defective." He repeats, and it sounds like a confession of guilt. He's already said as much but with the weight of context, she can understand those words better this time. Zim has been delusional of that fact for years but something changed and now he's faced with the fact that in his culture his very existence is a crime.

"Zim, you are not to seek punishment from my planet just because you feel as though rejection from your own is a crime that you committed. Understand?" He's quiet again and doesn't give any indication that he accepts her words. Gaz decides to try again. Zim might be annoying but the last thing she wants is for Zim to keep being so intentionally self-destructive.

He's too manic at the best of times to make good choices for himself...

"… Look at me." He raises his head slightly, fake eyes meeting her own again. "Zim, I told you to look at me." His face furrows in confusion.

"Right now you're not looking at me. The you hiding in that dumb disguise is."

"I… Zim does not understand." Gaz has always found the way Zim talks in the third person to be irritating, but right now it infuriates her because now she can see that habit for what it really is.

… And if he can't make good choices for himself, he's going to need someone to make choices for him…

"Take off your disguise. I already know everything about you so get rid of it. I'm not going to talk to you through those stupid lenses. I want to see you, Zim." He hesitates but does as Gaz asks, removing the wig and contacts and storing them in his Pak.

Gaz looks at him for the first time in a while, but he doesn't recoil under her gaze.

"Alright, you've just confessed a lot to me and… Well, I want to help you get through this." His jaw drops. "Come on, I'm not actually heartless you know, I do care about some things. Right now, I care about one thing, and it's not becoming your pity friend as your pour the waterworks on me." He looks like he wants to interject she doesn't give him the chance. "Yes, I know that you have no water to cry in your body, it was just an expression, you bug."

"Right now all I care about is showing you how to send a big fuck you to your home planet." He looks absolutely scandalized and Gaz thinks that this time he might actually interrupt her, but she keeps talking and he does not. "No, Zim, I do not have to respect Irk and neither do you. The way they run things is shitty, your entire species is emotionally stunted. I don't care that I'm being insensitive – the Tallest, the Control Brain, they've all conditioned you and your species to take their abuse. Earth may not be great, but at least here we know how to rebel and sometimes improve a thing or two." Zim's fallen quiet again. She's not sure if she's getting through to him, but he at least seems to be listening.

"Look, I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, but I'm even more sorry that you don't know how to deal with it. Here on Earth, there's more than being punished or deactivated. Some people do try to bring you down for being different." Gaz almost can't believe her own pep talk, after years of being an outcast herself the optimism seems almost inappropriate. But Gaz has always firmly believed that acting like a loser is the worst way to deal with being an outcast.

 _… Zim has more potential than any outcast I've met on Earth. The real crime would be letting that potential go to waste…_

"The cool kids might reject us, and we reject them right back. We don't fit in with them, they don't fit in with us, that's how it is. Everyone's an asshole to each other here, but so what? There are good things about this world, and for people like us, a lot of those good things come from being bad." Zim's eyes seem to glow dully at her words, Gaz thinks he's taking them in. She thinks some conscious rebellion will be healthy for him, better than self-destruction. With her guidance, of course.

 _… Well, I never claimed to be a good influence or anything._

Gaz stands once again and walks back over to him. This time, she's calm and steady. There will be a big learning curve her since she's never taken anyone in as one of her own before.

"There is one good thing to be said about the Tallest. Being exiled to this planet was the best thing that's ever happened to you."

He swallows around her words, eyes practically glimmering at this point. "Zim is happy that he told you, Miss Gaz…" His voice trembles softly "Zim will… Not seek punishment for being defective from your planet anymore. Zim will not tell anyone else about what has happened and… Zim will think about what you said…"

"Stop that." She snaps, making him flinch back from her harsh tone out of fear that she's going to yell at him again.

"U-um…" He seems confused. Dib'll be blowing up her phone any minute now that it's getting dark, but this is important. Gaz leans in closer, encroaching on his personal space.

"Stop referring to yourself in the third person. Use the first person. Be as selfish and self-obsessed as you pretend to be. You're an individual, not a member of a unit with an identifying name tag that needs to be recited." He's leaned up towards her invasion rather than away, face closer to her than anyone else has ever gotten, but Gaz isn't one to back down now. She knows that they both need her to be confident in herself right now.

"Yes Miss Gaz, I'll try…" he sounds surer of himself, feeding off her assertion of rightness. She'll concede to herself that she might be reading too much into the whole name business but if she can change that about Zim's behavior, she can most likely change other things. And it certainly won't be as annoying to talk to him.

"Good." She eases back up to a casual now stance, straightening back up to her full height as she looks down her nose at him, her hands braced on her hips. It is a bit odd that he's been on the floor this whole time, but she decides it's definitely not the worst oddity of his. She might even like it.

Besides, Zim's just poured his insecurities out, he's allowed to be small for a bit. Well, smaller.

And that's officially the most Gaz has talked in a long time. The emotional exhaustion and sheer amount of socializing have finally caught up to her so she lets herself yawn and stretch, her weight dropping to one hip comfortably.

"I'm glad you told me too." She confesses and ignores the look of wonder he has on his face. "But don't make a fuss at school, you got it? We might have had a good moment here, but I'm still Gaz and you're still Zim."

His antennae droop and his eyes dull at this but this is one of Gaz's boundaries. Just because she's willing to take Zim in doesn't mean she's going to restructure her life around him.

"Look, I just don't want to make a scene or have Dib on my case, alright? I promise you won't like it if that happens either. We can meet up and talk outside of school."

He perks right back up, reminding her of the old Zim who could never be put down. "Yes, Miss Gaz! Zi- I, I mean I will act completely normal and no stupid humans will suspect a thing! Not even your smelly brother!"

 _Aw shit, I know exactly what Zim's "playing it cool" looks like. What have I just sentenced myself to?_

 _This is your fault, Dib._


	3. 247 Garbage and Snake-Bites

Alright, now that the mushy stuff is out of the way it's time to get to the actual good times. Sarcasm. Violence. Bad manners. All the fun things that make this life worthwhile. Now Gaz just has to figure out how to actually teach someone how to have a rebellious teen phase in a way that she can still manage…

Shitty music that you will deeply regret later in life seems like a pretty standard place to start. _Time to see what I'm working with._

"Alright Zim, what kind of music do you like?"

Zim and Gaz have moved their little chat outside to the closest convenience store since Gaz hasn't eaten yet and she refuses to miss out on dinner for anyone. She wasn't actually expecting Zim to follow her, she didn't invite him along. But now they're there, sitting together on the crumbling asphalt of the 24/7 parking lot eating delicious garbage.

"Zi- I haven't taken the time to explore any extra, meaningless Earth-noise." He gurgles around mouthfuls of mini powdered donuts and Starbursts. The very thought of that combination makes Gaz gag. She had no idea he consumed that much sugar but… She supposes his sweet-tooth isn't really that strange compared to everything else. "There are already too many filthy sounds polluting this planet."

Gaz downs her second slice of lukewarm, week-old pizza and rips open a bag of Xtra Hot Takis while she considers his point. "That makes sense, I guess. But a lot of people use the noise they like to drown out the noise they don't like. Like how I use music so I don't have to hear Dib's voice or the mandatory pep-rallies." She punctuates the sentence by flicking a beetle off her thigh.

He grunts and works some Starburst gunk from his teeth, plays with it between his claws, then licks it off. She takes that as her cue to continue.

"What kind of music does Irk have?" She asks, reluctant to suggest anything that might remind him of his home planet but decides it might make the transition easier.

He laughs that loud, manic laugh that Gaz hasn't heard in a while – making the cashier inside glance up from their phone into the sickly-lighted parking lot in concern before wisely choosing to stay out of it. Like she probably should've done from the beginning.

"HAHAHA, oh little Miss Gaz, the elite Irken Empire does not spend time on useless pursuits such as music. The production of music comes from much weaker species that the empire has enslaved easily. Any music I heard before coming to Earth came from their pathetic cultures, not my own."

Gaz narrows her eyes and gives him a swift punch in the shoulder for his condescending tone. "Don't call me 'little Gaz,' insect." He sneers as though her reaction was of little consequence to him, but rubs his shoulder to alleviate some pain. "Whatever, maybe music is a sign of an inferior race, but I like it. Your homework is to give it a try. Find something you like enough and report back to me."

He scoffs but doesn't disagree further, tearing open a Fun Dip packet with his teeth and pouring the entire thing into his gaping mouth, dipsticks and all. Gaz didn't even know they still made that shit.

"What the fuck is up with that sweet-tooth of yours?" She asks with a raised eyebrow while munching on my own spicy snack, disregarding the seasoning dust steadily coating her sweatshirt.

"Sucrose is essential in maintaining my energy reserves, similar to Earth creatures who seek it out." He says over the crunching of the dipsticks in his mouth, as though she had just asked a stupid question.

"Holy shit you really are like a bug."

"… Eh?"

Gaz swallows the rest of the crumbs from the bag, "I mean, I guess there's no reason Irkens are the same as anything on Earth 'cause it's not like you've got an exoskeleton or help pollinate, it's just interesting that the insult actually has some basis besides your antennae."

She cracks open a bottle of too-sweet tea and takes a big gulp, almost offering some to Zim before she remembers what water does to him. Those rainy days in elementary school where nothing short of traumatic.

"I bet you shit hot Go-Gurt."

For the first time, Gaz lets someone punch me back.

* * *

School is half-over and no sign of Zim. Maybe he has learned how to not cause a scene. Gaz's hopes aren't that high.

The bell rings to release her from Calculus. Sticky desks scrape against the floor in the mad rush for the door but the teacher stops her own pursuit of freedom.

"Ms. Membrane, you know I let you get away with playing video games in class simply because your test scores are unmatched," Gaz rolls her eyes, prepared to defend the legitimacy of her grades but the teacher keeps going. "I've long accepted the fact that you are not cheating, so I really think you should join our school's academic team."

"… Sorry, but academics aren't really my thing."

"Please, Ms. Membrane, don't try to lie to me. I've already spoken to your other teachers and your grades in comparison to the amount of effort you put into your studies are nothing short of extraordinary. The team could really use a brain like yours."

Gaz is taken aback, unaccustomed to positive attention from authority figures. "Uh, no thanks." She's not interested in joining the team. Partially because it would cut into her free time and partially because she knows the other members and she really couldn't stand to spend any amount of time with them. Academic Team has always just been a boys club of hyper-competitive know-it-all's. The kind that can't shut up in class.

"Oh, that's too bad. Your brother turned us down too, unfortunately. You two could take us to nationals!" If Dib was there that'd make her even less inclined to join. "Please think about it and let me know if you change your mind."

That's unlikely, but she nods and steps out of the room towards the lockers, the last student to leave.

She stands on tip-toes to grab her packed lunch from her too-high locker and starts towards the cafeteria where she's meeting Dib when she's stopped by the redhead from detention yesterday.

"Hey Gaz!" He calls cheerfully from behind her. She grunts in acknowledgment; he is not deterred. _Are angry teens like him supposed to be this friendly?_

"So I was wondering if you wanted to ditch for a bit and have your lunch with me. I know this really awesome place that's totally abandoned aside from a couple of guys, sort of made the place our little club of misfits. I bet you'd really – "

"No."

"What? Aw, come on man, it's totally your style!"

"I don't go to abandoned lots with strangers."

"Oh… OH, duh, I guess that makes sense. I didn't mean to be a creep. Haha, sorry about that, maybe we could just have lunch on the stairs together for starters?"

Gaz does consider the offer. It might not be a great idea to ditch Dib considering his paranoia and tendency to panic for her safety. But then again it's not like she owes her brother her lunch time.

"Why should I give you the time of day, Snake-Bites?" She demands, referencing one of his many piercings with the absence of his name.

"Haha! Snake-Bites, I love it! Now I'm never telling you my name~"

Before either of them can continue they're interrupted by an inhuman growl. Of course, there's only one person that could be…

"Back off dirt-child! Miss Gaz has no interest in your greasy drive!"

 _Here we go._

Zim barks in Snake-Bite's face, spitting some typically creative insults. Snake-Bites backs off a bit from the claw that's been thrust in his face with his hands raised defensively.

"Woah dude, chill, I was just askin' her to lunch!"

"She will be spending her lunchtime with Zim! I was given an assignment by Miss Gaz and I shall be reporting on it in our mutual free time!" The music thing. He got found something he liked quicker than she had expected. Zim must've taken it pretty seriously.

Zim has at this point yanked Gaz back behind him, forcing himself physically between her and Snake-Bites with a bruising grip. She does not appreciate that.

"Zim." Gaz growls at him, bringing the boys' attention back to her. "You are not in charge of who I speak to, spend my time with, and you are never to man-handle me without permission." He gulps audibly and wrenches his away from her wrist as if it'd been soaked in barbeque sauce. "Is that clear?" Any stragglers in the hall or couples making out in dirty corners of the hall have at this point fled, expecting her wrath.

Zim's hands snap down to his sides in a sort of terrified attention stance that she thinks she likes.

"But… but Miss Gaz – " he begins to protest, but she silences him with a glare. A much better reaction than when they were in detention. Almost feels like things are back to normal. Behind him, Snake-Bites once again looks enthralled by her rage, and a sort of light seems to have risen in his eyes.

"Hang on…" He says, buzzing with excitement. "An assignment? Miss Gaz? Are you guys in _that_ kind of relationship?! Haha, man that's awesome, I can't believe I didn't get it earlier! Explains why your little green man was actin' so weird after you yelled at him in Strike Three!"

 _Oh no._

"…Eh?" Fortunately, Zim is totally confused by Snake-Bite's vagueness. Gaz face-palms, feeling a migraine coming on.

"No, we are not in any kind of – " Snake-Bites talks over her with an excited whisper and her glare has no effect.

"Right, right, I get it. I promise I won't tell." He throws an arm around Zim in an attempt at a friendly gesture but is immediately thrown off by Zim who looks repulsed by the touch.

"I have no idea what you're on about." Zim hisses, genuinely lost with the sudden topic change. Snake-Bites is undeterred by his attempt at friendship being shot down.

"Of course you don't~ Hey man, sorry about tryin' ta steal your time with Miss Gaz," he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively for emphasis, "but it doesn't sound like she's a one-dog kinda owner if ya get what I mean~ So maybe I could join in sometime."

Zim clearly doesn't get what he means but hisses at him for his tone anyway.

"Shut your noise-tube, the sounds you make when you speak about Miss Gaz disgust me."

Gaz couldn't agree more.

"Cut the shit Snake-Bites, you clearly don't know when to back off." She snaps at him.

He slides his hands into his pockets casually, grin never leaving his face, and takes a step back.

"I do, I promise I do. Your little green dude is really fun to mess with though." He chuckles. "But seriously, sorry if I crossed a line with you Gaz, let's talk another time? Maybe you and Zim could both come to me and my friend's hang-out that I mentioned earlier? I'm willing to bet you two are some of the biggest freaks in this building so you'll fit right in." He smiles more genuinely and starts to back away. "And I don't just mean freaks in _that_ way. See you two around!" He turns away and heads to the back stairwell, probably going to ditch like he said he would.

Gaz heaves a sigh and rolls her eyes, well-aware that most of her lunchtime has just been wasted by two idiots. So much for a break.

She turns to head down the main staircase to spend the last few minutes of lunch with her brother and her food. Zim follows her, matching her pace with a certain air of pride.

"Miss Gaz, Zim has – "

"No." She cuts him off and he frowns in irritation.

"But Zim has – !"

"First of all, you're doing the third-person thing again." His mouth snaps shut at having been caught. "Second of all most of my lunch has already been wasted by that stupid fight. I don't care if you think it was his fault, I'm spending the rest of it with Dib and eating my goddamn sandwich. We can talk about music later." He narrows his eyes and strides closer, invading her personal space but keeping his hands clasped behind his back.

"Your disgusting sibling is not worthy of-" Zim begins to hiss in her ear but she doesn't let him finish. Gaz shoves him away from her and pushes ahead through the cafeteria doors to stomp inside, leaving Zim behind as the doors swing shut in his face.


	4. Elbow Jabs and Old Jams

One by one vampire-mutant piggies fall victim to her unstoppable rage as Gaz lays across her couch after school. She's been working on the same level all day and at this point has memorized the pattern of their attacks. Her thumb swivels over the joystick with practiced confidence, making her character execute another combo and scoop up a new item that appears. All the troubles of the day are completely forgotten in her game and headphones and Gaz is totally at ease. The muffled sounds of the doorbell barely filter through her focus and she doesn't do much as bat an eyelash. Gaz doesn't even consider pausing her game to answer the door.

A minute goes by and whoever the fuck is at the door hasn't given up, if anything, they're getting impatient. At this point, it's starting to become white noise to her as she slays her enemies for the fourth try. The sounds of Dib's heavy footsteps as he barrels down the stairs cut through the static of the doorbell.

"Gaz! You've been down here the whole time and never answered the door." He chastises, tone the statement that it should be rather than a needless question.

She grunts at him and they both know his words are pointless.

Whoever is outside is bashing on the doorbell as frequently as Gaz slams the buttons on her controller and a strange feeling of dread finally starts to creep up on her. Like she's forgetting something important.

"Damn, whoever they are they're determined. You betting Jehovah's witness or girl scout?" Dib chuckles at his own joke and answers the door.

The shitstorm that breaks out is instantaneous.

"What are YOU doing here?!" Dib shrieks, cutting through my vibe mercilessly.

"Out of my way _Dib-stink_! Your freakish body and horrifyingly large skull are taking up the doorway!" An all-too-familiar caterwauling followed by Dib grunting - Gaz can assume he's just been shoved by Zim.

"Hell no!" A grunt from Zim this time as he's likely shoved back. But she isn't looking. "This is my house! Get out! I don't know what gruesome plan you've cooked up this time but I'm going to stop you!" Zim? A plan?... Oh, that's right. Dib's paranoia and obsessive hero complex are what got Gaz into this in the first place.

 _Fuck, that's right._ Gaz kinda got involved with Zim on impulse and now it's accidentally become a commitment of hers. And if she knows anything about Zim, he's not going to let it go easily.

"Don't touch me with your filthy paws!" Zim hisses. "I am here for Miss Gaz, not _you_!" He sneers, and she pauses the game immediately. _Shit Zim, you really do have the worst judgment in the galaxy…_

" _What?_ " Dib hisses back, horrified. "STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" He roars as his war cry, and any semblance of civility has snapped.

Gaz peers over the couch, not drawing any attention to myself. Despite Dib apparently landing the first blow Zim's managed to wrestle them both inside. They fight in the entryway like cats, grappling and clawing and biting, with no regard for the open door. The neighborhood is used to them by now anyway.

The pair fight with such ferocity that neither could be given the advantage as far as willingness for violence is concerned. They fight like they did when they were children, except they're not children anymore. She's not afraid of either of them, nor is she particularly concerned for them, but they are both much stronger than they used to be and it's noteworthy. Dib is significantly larger than Zim, he towers over the alien with a solid eight inches making his reach and weight a significant factor. However, Zim is a slippery little guy and surprisingly strong for his size which makes it difficult for Dib to pin him down. Zim's more flexible and seems to have a lot of compact power, plus his claws and teeth. Zim surely has more experience under his belt as well. According to him, he had entered the military long before Dib and Gaz were even born, but he was always a little screwup and did more with engineering than hand-to-hand combat. On the other hand, Dib fights every battle with a great sense of purpose, no matter how insignificant it is, and he really knows how to take a beating. He's had people wailing on him his whole life, herself included, and never stays down for long. It's the most annoying and amazing thing about him.

"Stay down, you disgusting human!" Zim snarls, having managed to force Dib onto his back, Zim's full weight on Dib's shoulders and one arm barred across Dib's neck.

"Never gonna happen, you monster!" Dib spits back. He grabs Zim by his left shoulder and pulls him down, taking control of Zim's body just long enough to arch up and roll - effectively switching their positions. Zim isn't dazed for long by Dib's force or roll-reversal and manages to move within the milliseconds Dib takes to pull back far enough for a forceful punch so the blow on Zim is only glancing. "Nothing you're up to could be good, and involving Gaz is even worse!" Dib rears back for another punch, "I swear if you even think about touching her I'll crush you! Forget about saving your body for dissection!" Dib's sloppy form gives Zim enough space to dodge the punch completely this time. Zim wiggles his arms free and grabs Dib's head, digging in his claws in an effort to disrupt Dib enough to get his legs free. Zim is successful only for a split second, having just enough time to pull his legs up, kick at Dib's abdomen, and squirm out from under him. They both spring to their feet, crouched and ready.

"I'm not going to hurt your sister you un-evolved creature! Zim has an assignment and I will report to her!"

"Well, you can-! Wait… What?" Dib's posture straightens slightly, confused by the news. "An assignment? What are you talking about? You guys aren't in the same class."

"I don't have to disclose anything to you." Zim sneers and straightens his posture as well. His full height is underwhelming, to say the least

Dib's face hardens and he tenses for battle. "You'll tell me if you want me to even consider letting you in! You're probably just trying to trick me anyway." Dib seems to have forgotten Gaz there. Or maybe he thinks she's been unaware the whole time. Whatever the case it makes her snort in amusement. It would be much easier for the both of them if Dib just turned around and asked me.

Zim's sensitive antenna twitch under his wig at the sound and his gaze darts over to the lounging Gaz. His eyes widen when he sees her, perfectly relaxed into the couch. He can probably guess that I've been there for a while.

"Miss Gaz!" He shouts in surprise and dashes towards her.

"Hey!" Dib chases after him hardly a step behind, though clearly surprised by Zim completely abandoning their fight. He tackles Zim to the ground inches away from the couch, the both of them amazingly close to bashing their heads into the back of it on the way down.

The real battle is Gaz trying to keep a straight face

She shifts onto her knees to look down over the back of the couch at the tangled pile they're in. Dib's forearm is in Zim's jaws while Dib is working to put Zim in a headlock. She manages to keep her gaze cool as she looks down at them. Gaz draws their attention by the slight motion of lowering her headphones to rest them on her shoulders.

"What?" Gaz asks with no sense of urgency or even distress. They both immediately launch into loud and detailed accounts of the past few minutes, trying to talk over one another, as she if didn't witness the whole thing.

"You're too loud." She snaps at them, keeping her voice low so they're forced to listen.

"But Gaz!" They protest in perfect, childish unison. "He-!" She cuts them off quickly.

"Do not tell me that ' _he started it_ '," She growls. "If either of you does, I'll show you what it really means to get your ass kicked." They scowl but have calmed down enough to separate. They get up and straighten themselves out, but not without a few middle fingers, tongues sticking out, and shoves. Gaz doesn't mind, as long as they do it quietly.

"Dib, relax." She starts with her brother. "Zim's not lying." Dib's jaw drops just as smug satisfaction splits Zim's face.

"But why-!"

"It's something assigned by the counselor." She lies easily, impressing herself with her quick thinking. Gaz supposes she doesn't have to lie but… Telling Dib that she's sort of socializing with Zim more or less voluntarily doesn't seem like a good idea. Judging by the look in Zim's eyes it seems like he appreciates not having to explain as well. "They're trying to make the troubled Strike Three students work together on something _good_."

"Oh." Dib's brows furrow and he sounds suspicious, but he seems at the very least satisfied that his sister is not in immediate danger. Or at least, he's thrown off enough for now. But his paranoia is legendary and Gaz knows this won't be the end of it.

"Zim." She looks at him and he snaps to that same informal attention stance. "Let's get something straight. I'll come to you when I want to. Not when you want me to."

"But-!" Oh, the similarities between Zim and her brother can be marvelous. Marvelously annoying.

"There's nothing to negotiate Zim. That's it."

Dib snickers like a kid who's sibling just got busted. Zim grimaces and stomps on Dib's foot to retaliate.

"We can talk again when I finish this level." This seems to satisfy Zim for the time being as well. He skulks back out of the house obediently, hands shoved deep into his pockets. When the front door slams closed Dib turns back to Gaz.

"Is that really it? You're not being threatened or anything, are you?" He frets.

"Does the school administration count here or are you just talking about Zim?"

"Just Zim." He clarifies but cracks a smile because he's developed an ear for Gaz's jokes. "But the school administration might be worse."

"I'm not in any danger Dib, I promise." She assures, her voice smooth and crisp with decisiveness as she slides her headphones back to their rightful place. If there's one thing Gaz is certain of, Zim isn't a threat to her.

:::

Gaz completes the level smoothly by the time it starts to get dark - having memorized and perfected counters to each of the enemies' moves. She does some inventory management then gets up to stretch, thinking about taking a break to eat and shower as her eyes roam over the living room. Everything is as it should be, familiar clutter and carpet stains invisible to her, but then her peripheral vision catches something out the window.

Something little and green peering in.

Gaz's eyes widen in disbelief, but she's not mistaken. Gaz rushes out the front door in time to see Zim jump away from the window and face her with a defensive, yet submissive stance.

"What the hell are you doing here? It's been hours!" She demands.

"But, but Miss Gaz- You said to report when you finished that game level!"

"No, Zim I-" She sighs in exasperation. She guesses she did say something like that. "I didn't mean sit here as wait for me to finish, I meant to go home and I'd come to see you when I was ready."

"But would that not take longer? This way there is no time wasted while you walk to Zim's." He's right, technically, but that doesn't make this situation any less weird.

"Don't you have anything better to do with your time than watch me through my window like a fucking creep?!" She spits back. Surely he's been on Earth long enough to know that's not acceptable.

He fidgets uncomfortably, and can't seem to form a response. Then Gaz thinks to herself that he probably doesn't have anything better to do.

"Whatever…" She sighs, "Let's just get on with it." Zim perks right back up and marches up to her.

"Zim- I mean, I spent hours searching human music and it's historical changes!" He boasts. Gaz turns to walk in the direction of his house and he follows without question. "It is a particularly astounding waste of time, energy, resources, and what minimal intelligence humankind possesses."

Gaz rolls her eyes at this. "Find anything interesting?"

"Oh yes, a few things." He nods, mostly to himself, and seems very proud. It seems he did put a lot of effort into this… weirdly enough. When he decides to take on a task there's nothing that can deter him. Gaz thinks he's happy to have gotten another mission of sorts. He seems to be lost without one, defective or not. "I will reveal to you the more superior types of human music when we arrive at my base. Miss Gaz will be pleased to see the results of my work."

"Yeah, well _Miss Gaz_ will be the judge of that." They walk the rest of the way in silence and she tries to ignore the dumb grin he has on the whole time.

They get to his house and he rushes ahead to open the door for her, swiftly kicking the robo-parents out of the way before they can even finish saying "welcome."

Inside, Gaz once again makes herself at home on his couch. He instructs his computer to retrieve the files of music that he had apparently saved, who does so with a fair amount of sarcasm when Gaz suddenly realizes something that she truly should've noticed right away.

"Zim… Where's Gir?"

Zim freezes, not looking at me and not responding. The silence soon becomes hard for me to stomach, his petrified body language even more so. She lets a few minutes pass, telling herself that maybe he just needs time to collect himself. Eventually, Gaz realizes that he's not even close to talking. He hasn't even blinked. He's just been staring at the floor. She steels herself and breaks the silence, accepting the fact that he needs her to do it for him.

"... Come here." Gaz says, adopting the same soft, but solid voice she had used on him before. This time she extends her arms towards him, palms tilted up and out. Zim jerks when he hears her and blinks hard a few times. Slowly he approaches Gaz, arms clenched around his midsection as though he feels sick. He stops about three feet in front of her.

"Come on." She tries again and gestures for him to get closer, not quite sure what she's going to do herself. Gaz has been through some tough times of her own, but she always dealt with them in her own head - so she isn't quite sure how to talk someone through… Whatever it is that happened. But by the way Zim's acting, it seems like he's suffered a loss.

Zim looks conflicted at first, brow pinching as he stares at the floor. Eventually, he does come to her. Gaz has just invited someone to come into her space, and they have accepted it. Two things that she's never even considered before. Gaz doesn't really know why it seems okay to do now. Maybe she feels worse for Zim than she first thought, maybe it's okay because he's not human. Maybe she wants him to rely on her even more.

Gaz raises her arms slowly, giving Zim plenty of time to react, and gently places her hands on his shoulders. She presses down carefully, signaling him to kneel down to her eye level. He doesn't resist. Zim sits on his knees in front of her, his head still bowed so he is now staring at Gaz's lap rather than his ugly tiled floor. Again, Gaz moves her hands, still slowly, up to his head. She slides off his wig but he doesn't tense like she thought he would. He just removes his contacts in response. Gaz lets my hands fall away from him, tossing the wig onto the floor next to him.

"It's okay, Zim. Tell me what happened. You know you can."

His jaw clenches and his claws knot around themselves in his lap, but at least he does open up to her once again.

"I… I disassembled my Standard Issue Robot." This surprises her. She knows Gir's been a pain in the neck to Zim for a long time but for some reason, it was hard to imagine him ever actually getting rid of Gir.

"Why?" She asks, masking her surprise in hopes of easing Zim's nerves.

"Gir was… Was just some junk that the Tallest threw at me as a joke. When I found out I… I was so angry. So angry and…" He swallows hard and takes a deep breath before continuing. "And Gir was just like me. Something worthless that the Tallest sent off for a laugh. I couldn't look at Gir anymore knowing that! So I… I did what should be done to all defectives before they ever get the chance to realize what they are." Zim whispers and Gaz thinks he'd be crying if he could.

Zim disassembled Gir as… Well, almost as a way to project his suicide with the excuse that it was merciful because of how much pain he was in. But it's clear that he regrets it now.

Gaz thinks for a moment before deciding what to say.

"When you're ready we can reassemble Gir together."

His breath hitches and finally he looks up.

"But… Even if we do put him back together it won't be the same... Gir… We can't make him like he was. I took him apart. I saw what a random mess his head was." He scratches at his own hands and arms anxiously. "We can't possibly recreate that."

She holds his gaze and speaks slowly, fully aware of the multi-layered conversation that's happening. "So what if it's not the same? This time Gir will be renewed as your creation, not your leaders. I'll help you pick up the pieces."

His eyes snap back down and he seems almost angry. "I can't ask you to do that!"

She smirks a bit at this. "You're damn right. But you're not asking. I'm inserting myself." She places her hands back on his shoulders, drawing his attention again. "It'll be okay, I'm not saying do it now. Just when you're ready."

He nods, and Gaz can feel her face soften against her will. "I'm sorry I brought up bad memories. Show me your music?" He nods again but doesn't move, but Gaz doesn't say anything more. She just lets him breathe for a bit. Gaz feels like… This would be the time to provide more comfort but… Hugging him or something just doesn't make sense in her head. She settles for keeping a hand on his shoulder. Eventually, the moment passes and Gaz lets go of Zim. He draws himself back up off the floor, looks at the spot he kneeled in a bit longer and goes back to get the file.

She has to hand it to Zim, his music pick hadn't even crossed her mind. She was expecting techno or classical or… heck, even Pink Floyd. It certainly wouldn't hurt him to put on some Pink Floyd and fucking relax once in a while.

Zim plays traditional Japanese Enka.

When he said he examined music's history on Earth he wasn't exaggerating. Gaz didn't even know there was much Enka recorded since it's so old and hardly done anymore.

She supposes the loud, wavering voice of the singing is reminiscent of his own voice. She can't say she dislikes it, it's actually pretty cool sounding. It's just really unexpected. Time gets away from them as they listen to his favorite songs and before Gaz realizes what's happening, she falls asleep on Zim's couch.


	5. An Oddly Placed Fence

Despite Gaz's best efforts to remain indifferent to this shit-show, she's inserted herself in with this alien, she's been putting a lot of thought into it in the back of her mind. She's been thinking about what to do with Zim all morning. Which is almost longer than she's spent thinking about her fucked up relationship with her father.

She's been conscious on Zim's couch for probably two hours, laying perfectly still on her side with her eyes shut as she absorbs the last few days. She doesn't know where Zim is. Gaz knows Irken's don't sleep, so whatever he does every night is a mystery that she just doesn't feel like unraveling yet.

Gaz thinks that whatever it is that's happening between them… Show's great potential.

Zim's mood swings might be annoying and hard to deal with, but he's showing her so much vulnerability. Gaz thinks I can take his attachment to her a few steps further than she is.

From what Gaz knows Zim does not appear to have the same emotional range of a human and it would therefore be illogical of her to judge him as she would a human. He's shown his emotional capacity stretches further than she thought, but it has stretched in a particular direction. It's all about Zim. Everything is always about Zim with Zim. That's not to say that isn't a trait human's share with Irkens, but again, Gaz isn't so sure Zim is _capable_ of feeling any sort of way for others if he is not directly concerned. He's proved his lack of empathy time and time again, and she's counting him trying to destroy humanity because that's not an issue in the context of his culture. But what is unusual is that Zim's culture is oriented completely for service towards his leaders, which he was - but only to an extent. His own ambitions and impulses have always overruled orders. He'd fabricated any crazy rational possible to try and make it look like he was only stepping out of line for his leaders, but he was lying to himself. It was always about his own agenda.

Individual desire and ambition is a defect in his race.

So naturally, in this moment of something resembling heartbreak, he'll latch onto what makes him feel better. Which is Gaz. Again, it's surprisingly human of him and it makes her curious as to the other things he'd turn to for comfort in the past. Assuming he's ever needed it before. His ability to delude himself is second to none, after all.

But Zim's hedonism isn't the only thing that appears different about it. If that was the case he'd be more like the competent alien Dib had a crush on as a kid. Zim's also got a senseless thirst of violence. No matter how pitiful he looked yesterday Gaz can't forget all the torment and destruction he's revealed in throughout his already long life. Hell, it's one of the things Gaz actually likes about the guy. Gaz is willing to bet Zim commits more horrors against any and all lifeforms without a second thought for his mad experiments than most of the Irkens on shitty planet. Maybe it comes from a need to dominate so he can validate his delusions. He's like a sadistic child.

Fortunately for Gaz, a sadistic child is still a child - and a child can be molded.

The Irken Empire wanted his selfless service. Gaz wants his selfish service.

It shouldn't be too hard. It's not like Gaz will be asking him to live a lie, she won't even be lying to him when she tells him she has an interest in his skills. Gaz will give Zim the kind of fulfillment he's never experienced before but always craved to the point of delusion - appreciation for his talent. Madness and all.

If Zim wants to latch onto Gaz for comfort, she'll let him. She can see Zim's potential that his leader's couldn't, and she knows she can have him on his knees more willingly than the all-powerful Control Brain could.

 _And really, is it manipulation if Zim surely wants it?_

She needs more concrete information before she can form a solid game plan, but for the time being she's satisfied. With her thoughts sorted Gaz finally opens her eyes to greet the day.

Or more accurately, greet Zim who's looming over her, unblinking, hands clasped behind his back in his usual posture of respect. It's more than a little creepy but her expression remains firm.

"Ah, Miss Gaz! You are awake. I thought you might be because your breathing pattern changed, but I wasn't sure if it was simply another cycle of a human's recharging state that I hadn't observed yet."

"How long have you been watching me?" Gaz demands, immediately ridding his face of its calm, critical observation and replacing it with discomfort.

"Zim's been observing Gaz since this side of the planet rotated towards the sun. Zim knows humans typically rise with daylight and he was curious about when Miss Gaz would rise and how." Zim fidgets a bit, confused and insecure about her irritation.

"What did I say about that third-person shit?" She snaps at him and he flinches back, not looking at her. She heaves a sigh. It's too early for this kind of headache, but it didn't escape her notice that he only started doing it when he became uncomfortable. Lowering her voice to her usual drawl she reassures him. "But your dedication to human observation after all this time is impressive. Sleep's something of a mystery to humans as well. Let me know if you draw any new conclusions on it, I'm curious too."

Zim blinks in surprise, but that's no mystery to Gaz. It's not like Zim's ever praised for all his grandeur. A huge, crooked smile splits across his face and he nods, antennae bobbing happily.

"Of course Miss Gaz! There are many impressive things about me! If you think that's worth hearing about you'll be blown away by all the other great things I can do!" He boasts with familiar ease. "I-"

"I don't doubt that Zim, but we'll have plenty of time to get into all the things you can do later." Gaz cuts him off, saving herself a flood of information could never been reliable when it's coming from Zim's mouth. "For now, what time is it? We have school today."

"Ten-thirty."

"Ten-thirty! Why the hell didn't you wake me up? We both have school to keep up appearances" Not that Zim's able to keep up a convincing act to anyone other than himself.

"I told you I was observing your natural sleep cycle." Zim snaps back, antennae flattening to his skull.

Gaz sighs, she knows she needs to drop it. Her temper's already gotten the better of her. Snapping at him like that was a mistake. "Oh man, Dib's gonna be riding my ass for hours about not coming home and skipping…" She groans, mostly to herself. "Well. Too late now. Guess we're ditching today." Gaz rolls herself off Zim's gaudy couch and indulges in a good stretch.

"The hideous Dib shouldn't be surprised that his vastly more impressive sister would prefer to spend time with a superior being." Zim scoffs and steps back out of her personal space.

"I'm going to head home and shower. You can… Come too. If you want." Gaz grumbles. If they're going to ditch together there's no point in splitting up now only to meet up later.

Zim's face twists in absolute horror. "I know very well what a shower is for you humans and you know very well I don't go anywhere near water if I can help it, even when I've had my genius paste-bath!" Zim visibly shudders at the thought.

Gaz rolls her eyes and swallows a short laugh. "I meant to come to my house. I sure as hell wasn't inviting you to my shower."

"Good! If that is the case I shall accompany you to your base."

* * *

Zim lights up like a kid in a candy store when Gaz tells him he can snoop through Dib's room all he wants while she showers as long as he makes sure not to leave any evidence that he was there. And that he swears to stay out of her room.

Showered and with a fresh black turtleneck on Gaz collects Zim from Dib's room where he's made his way into Dib's computer - a place she wouldn't dare venture despite her own aptitude for electronics for the sake of her sanity - judging by Zim's face it wasn't for the faint of heart. "Collecting" Zim was more of a matter of Gaz telling him she was leaving and him dropping whatever weird thing he was doing to follow her.

She quickly learns that the city is not Zim's favorite place. It's ironic that someone's who's traveled through galaxies could get lost and afraid so easily in a little Earth city. Gaz tries to hold in her snickers every time Zim flinches disgust when someone gets just a little too close to him. It's worth noting that Zim had no problems with Gaz touching him before - but his preference towards her over the average human was already obvious. Whether that comes from our familiarity, an actual sense of comradery or the sense that Gaz is physically more remains to be seen. When she thinks about it, it's probably a mix of all three things.

The only destination Gaz has in mind for them as of now is the game store, just so she can casually browse. But they're hardly in there for ten minutes because of how horribly Zim is retching in the presence of other gamers - mostly grotesquely unhealthy adult males who still live with their parents this time of day rather than the obnoxious, obese children who rush the place after school. Luckily for Zim, there was nothing good on sale so she can excuse his behavior. In the future, he's going to have to learn to contain his disgust better.

"It doesn't make any sense! How can these… gamer humans be so horribly disfigured but Miss Gaz is immune!" Gaz shrugs and doesn't acknowledge his odd, indirect compliment. She leads them to a candy shop next on impulse, curious to see how Zim will act there with his insatiable sweet tooth.

Despite the store being on the dirty, as most of this side of town is, Zim, lights up the moment she opens the door for him and guides him inside with a hand hovering just over his lower back.

"I had no idea Earth had snack stores this grand!" He exclaims.

"It's a step up from the 24/7." She grunts in agreement and grabs a bag to fill. Her own sweet tooth is nowhere near Zim's level but she likes to indulge sometimes. She leads the way so he can emulate her comfortably. Soon Zim's got the hang of how he's supposed to act in this place and he's bouncing all over the store, getting everything. Gaz mostly sticks to the sour candy and cinnamon candy with the occasional dark chocolate.

They weigh their bags with an overly-cheerful cashier who looks like he's got some kind of bright yellow implant on the side of his head and Zim pays with what looks like a purple credit card - but Gaz knows better than think they paid actual money for this. Electronic currency is far too easy to fool and Zim's certainly not about to be hired by anyone By the time they're leaving Zim looks genuinely pleased and is finally distracted from the crowds by his overflowing bag of sweets.

Just as Gaz is looking for a good place to sit and indulge they run into an oddly-placed fence. A thick, concrete fence. More like a wall, really. It cuts across the street abruptly with no apparent way around it, standing taller than everyone on the street. Like the city just suddenly stops. No one else seems to notice even though it actually runs straight through the center of the stores on either side of the street, and probably does for a few streets down as there is no end to this weird fence in sight.

Gaz looks around for a sign that might explain it, but when she can't see any she turns to Zim, who, like everyone else on the street, doesn't seem concerned with it.

"Uh… Any idea what this is?"

"Huh?" Zim looks up, mouth full of gummy worms. "Oh that. That's just from the very slow explosion I set off years ago. One of my many wondrous accomplishments! Guess these humans just decided to ignore it rather than try and fix it."

"Like… you set off an explosion that moved in slow motion?" Wow.

"Yes, that's what I just said. Took hours before I decided to set it off at normal explosion speed so it would be gone sooner." He waves his hand flippantly, sounding perfectly nonchalant.

"That is pretty great." Gaz agrees, forcing herself not to snort when Zim starts choking on the worms in shock. Good. Gaz needs to make Zim know that praise from her is attainable, and later she can start really making him work for it. "I want to get on the other side of this fence so I can see the damage."

"Of course!" Zim exclaims, shoving his candy in his Pak. "You will be very impressed, Miss Gaz! This is just a sample of how amazing my destructive capabilities are!" Zim leads her into a nearby alley so they can hop the fence unnoticed, visibly buzzing with excitement.

The fence is far above both their heads, about twice their height. Being the two shortest kids in school wasn't easy for either of them, but at least they're about the same height with Gaz only having an inch over Zim.

Zim gives Gaz a boost upon her instruction and she steps on his face without a second thought to get high enough to reach to the top edge of the fence.

Zim grunts in pain and complains that he could've just used his Pak spider legs, but Gaz ignores him. Sure, the Pak would've been easier but…

 _So I can already get Zim to do this much for me and it's only been a few days. Interesting._

Gaz uses the easy excuse, "can't risk you getting caught." As she hooks an ankle over the top of the fence and hoists herself on top of it, straddling the thick barrier. There's a good chance he saw up her skirt but Zim's about as likely to have a concept of that being inappropriate as a dog might. "You can use your Pak legs if we ever come back at night." She says as she lays on her stomach on the concrete in order to maximize the reach of her hand to him so she can pull him up, curious if he'll rely on her for this.

Zim grumbles unhappily but jumps up to grab her hand. He can jump higher than most humans so he's able to get a secure hold of her wrist easily and he's lighter than most humans so pulling him up while he scrambles up the wall isn't too hard for Gaz. She wonders about his skeletal structure if he has any. She'll have to ask him for an x-ray later.

From the top of the fence, they have a clear view of an absolutely massive crater, confirming that Zim did, in fact, destroy half of this city easily. And very slowly just for the hell of it. It's completely desolate save for the occasional bird, and the crater deepest and darkest in very the center.

Neither of them says anything for a few minutes while Gaz admires the disaster in front of them. She wonders about the darkness that is the center of the crater. Eventually, she swallows hard, taking a deep breath to speak without taking her eyes away from the scenery.

"Zim… I really am amazed by this." Zim's head snaps to her, his eyes as wide as he clings to the rough sincerity in her voice. "I'm glad I got to see this. I think you've got a lot of power and you could do even better." She turns her head slowly to meet his eyes, so wide his contacts might pop out. "But you could do best with some help to channel this power."

Zim swallows hard, eyes fixed on hers with the faintest traces of red glow on the edges, mouth hanging loose and claws scraping at the concrete under them as he's filled to the brim with something. He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't.

"Come on," Gaz says, breaking the moment and tearing her eyes from his. "I want a closer look at that crater. We can use your Pak legs to get to the center faster since no one will see us here."


	6. Hot Out of the Oven

The way Zim carries Gaz across the desolate earth on his spindly Pak legs in a way that reminds her of someone taking a hot dish straight out of the oven with cheap mits. Like he doesn't want to drop her but gets more and more desperate to let go the longer his grasp is around her shoulder and in the crook of her knees. They make great time to the center of the crater.

As soon as they get close enough Zim practically throws Gaz down and his arms collapse into his body as his Pak legs are folded away. This is how he usually responds to touch, but this is the first time he is responding to touch with Gaz like this. She makes a mental note of the differences to test out later: the length of time in which there was contact, where there was contact, the circumstances of the contact, and who initiated the contact.

The length of time being a source of discomfort seems to be in line with her current understanding of Zim. But the other factors to consider prompt even stranger possibilities. From this one sample, Zim appears to be more disturbed by contact he initiated with the touch under his control. But again, this is just one sample.

They walk the last few yards to the crater and Zim seems to be experiencing an internal battle of whether or not to walk in front of Gaz or behind her, so he's just caught between awkward, too-long strides forward and curling up like a dead bug and falling back. Gaz does not change her pace.

At first glance the darkness of the hole makes it appear shockingly deep for how long it's been left untouched as it would only make sense that some of the surrounding loose dirt would have washed in filled some of it - but with a closer look, Gaz can see that had not been left untouched at all.

Now that Gaz is standing on the edge of the crater she can see that there are not only man-made digs done to expand the hole, but she can also see haphazardly placed slabs of wood in what she can assume is an attempt to hold it open. The most telling thing of all is the dark tarp that spans the crater with a filthy rope ladder on the opposite side of the hole leading down underneath the tarp.

 _What do we have here?_

On her right, Zim peers into the hole with her, but doesn't offer any more than a confused "Eh?"

Gaz takes a closer look at their surroundings. She can't hear anything more than the occasional caw of a crow and the distant sounds of honking cars from the city. There's no more smell than dust and a faint trace of stale cigarettes and something like… _brimstone_? All that appears around them is the same cleared land, followed by distant buildings which circle the area. Her eyes narrow as she walks around to the rope ladder, visually combing through the dirt as she approaches it. Zim follows close behind, his head on a swivel as the lookout while she looks for tracks. It's an unexpectedly natural understanding of teamwork for two crazy loners.

Around the top of the ladder, the ground is packed down from being tread upon repeatedly and a loose path traces out towards the other side of the explosion's impact. Crouching down to examine the ladder doesn't give Gaz much information and she can't make out anything distinctive from above the tarp. She looks up at Zim, who hasn't noticed any trouble, to catch his gaze silently. Gaz and jerks her head towards the tarp covering the crater. He nods and crouches beside her.

Zim reaches back into his Pak and brings out what looks like pink binoculars, no bigger than Gaz's palm, and looks through them before silently holding them up in offering to her. Through them, Gaz can see two human-sized heat signatures beneath the tarp sitting stationary against the far side of the pit. She passes the goggles back to Zim and points to the direction the figures are in, trying to tell him to take that side and wait until she engages with them so they can surround any potential threat. He just nods again, staring at me but not moving. _Guess our communication isn't so flawless._

Gaz takes point. Going down a rope ladder into a bomb crater quietly is not easy. But Gaz can make anything look easy. She drops into the hole silently - completely unnoticed by the two figures on the other side of the dark hole.

Unfortunately for Zim, he is not Gaz.

Her flawlessly executed entrance is rendered useless by Zim somehow using a fucking ladder incorrectly. His right foot gets tangled in the rope sending him down face-first into the curve where the dirt wall meets the dirt floor, banging off a random board on the way down while Zim cries in surprise and then agony. He swears in Irken and tries to crawl away from the wall but can't manage to untangle his foot.

A male voice from the other side of the crater calls out "Hey! Who the hell are you?!" With a Hispanic accent.

 _So much for stealth._

The heat signatures who've made a camp out of the place are now close enough for Gaz to distinguish despite the poor light. The one in front is tall, maybe as tall as Dib, and asserts himself with a confident stride. His hair is black and shaved into an ungelled Mohawk. He has an effortlessly neat-looking scruff of facial hair and the black of his long-sleeve shirt can't blur out the sharp angle of broad shoulders or the tight cords of lean muscle. His face is made of straight, cutting lines complete with high cheekbones. He'd be considered very attractive save for two very striking details about him. For one: horns. A pair of swept back horns that curl up at the tips and they wrap down his shaved head. They look far too much like they go into his skin to fake. If the horns weren't enough there is perhaps an even more alarming part of his face. His eyes burn to look at. Burn like smoldering, white-hot embers with flecks of black soot. They appear to almost glow in the dark, much like Zim's eyes, but almost hurt to look into. Gaz steals herself and doesn't look away.

The boy behind him is far less imposing. He's about average height and this dark hair is shaved into a shaggy undercut. His skin is pale to the point of translucency and does not conceal the blue of the veins on his head as it should. His eyes are wide-set and a weary light brown with the intensity of a person who has seen too much. His nose seems just a bit too big for his face and but his jaw is square and sturdy. His shoulders are rolled forward into a hunch and the bagginess of his short-sleeve shirt printed with the words "they are here" does nothing to distract from the concavity of his chest.

After quite the battle, Zim wrestles his way out of the ladder and scrambles up in front of Gaz, brushing off the dirt as he puffs up his chest and looking thoroughly irritated.

"Who the hell are you?!" He shoots back. "What are you doing in my magnificent crater?!"

The young Hispanic man snorts. " _Your_ crater?" He crosses his arms and tilts his head back, looking down his sharp nose at Zim. "What makes this pit your crater, _creature_? I do not know what you are but this place has been empty for years. As far as I'm concerned this place belongs to me and mi amigo."

Zim hisses back like an animal. "It is mine because I-"

Gaz cuts Zim off with a bruising grip on his shoulder and yanks him back to her side, saving him from announcing his committed an act of terror to two strange teens.

"Gaz." She draws, deciding to switch to introductions. "Excuse my psychotic… companion. As you can see, he's got a condition." Zim growls but doesn't say anything. At least he can recognize Gaz is saving his ass. Or at least, not to cross her when she's got her hand on him but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to wiggle himself out from under her touch on his shoulder.

The bug-eyed boy in the back scoffs with more attitude than Gaz would expect from someone so mousy looking. "Yeah, he's got a condition. Just like you Pepito."

Pepito, the taller teen, laughs in a deep bass and Gaz can't help the smirk that plays along the corners of her mouth. She thinks it's kinda nice to meet somebody who gets it, even just a little since the boy with the horns sticks out almost as bad as her alien.

"I'm Todd, by the way." The scrawny teen offers in a soft voice. Despite his wimpy appearance and dumb clothing style, Gaz feels a sense of comradery with the boy. He seems to also be stuck with a crazy being.

"I am Zim," Zim growls, still displeased by all of this.

"We just came to investigate," Gaz says, absentmindedly rolling her fingers over Zim's taught shoulder and not missing the shudder that passes through him. "Noticed the city just kind of ended." Not really a lie although it's not the whole truth.

"Squee and I did the same a few years ago. It's _our_ little home away from home" Pepito purrs, looking down at Zim as he pulls Todd into his side with an arm around his shoulder. Todd rolls his eyes but doesn't move away, seeming to fit under the arm of Pepito just a little too well.

"Well, our place and occasionally one of those friends you can't get rid of," Pepito grumbles. "The kind that doesn't know how to take a hint."

"He's not that bad." Todd chastises while smiling, and playfully shoves Pepito away. Pepito pouts at him but there's an unmistakably playful twinkle in his smoldering eyes.

 _How… Ugh, adorable. I take it back, they're nothing like me and Zim._

Gaz's eyes scan the cove again now that they've adjusted to the low light. She can see the details of the boy's little fort. There's a drop cloth over the majority of the floor, covering the tightly packed earth. There are three folding chairs, a cooler covered in condensation, a couple of plastic boxes filled with comic books and ratty notebooks, and a partially collapsed telescope. In the back where the boys were sitting is a concentrated nest of pillows and blankets on a small, junk sofa along with… The original GS?!

She shoves past the pair and makes a beeline for the couch, ignoring the upset "Hey!" from Pepito as he's shoved away from Todd.

She carefully picks up the device to inspect it. This game slave came out when she was a baby and the company stopped making them in favor of more advanced game slaves. _It's in perfect condition!_ Gaz checks the cartridge and… Toasty Souls: Retribution!

"Where… Where did you guys get this?" She asks in a low, breathy voice - hands shaking from excitement, completely unconcerned with the three bewildered boys behind her. This GS model is almost impossible for a gamer to get their hands on since all the hardcore collectors refuse to sell at anything less than a ridiculous price.

"Uh, my Dad," Pepito says, approaching her. "He got it for me when I was very young to try and get me to develop an interest in his work. Squee and I were going through the campaign together."

"Can I…." Gaz licks her dry lips and takes a deep breath to steady her voice. "Can I borrow this when you're finished? I promise you it'll be kept safe." It's more than a little presumptuous since they just met but she doesn't care. Gaz has always been a firm believer in going for what she wants when she wants it. It's another trait her and Zim have in common.

"Sure…" Pepito replies, sounding thoroughly weirded-out. But he must recognize as Gaz and Todd do that they're all 'cut from the same cloth'.

 _It's nice to make new friends._

Gaz reluctantly places the GS back on the couch and turns around to see Zim still glaring daggers at Pepito, leering behind him with his teeth bared. Todd inches over to Zim cautiously, unnoticed.

"So, um, what brings you to Earth?" He asks in a small, polite voice.

Zim reals back physically at the question, jumping away.

"Earth is my HOME PLANET just as it is yours, filthy DIRT child! I am perfectly normal!"

Todd and Pepito burst into laughter, and even Gaz has to swallow some of her own.

"No need to hide it," Pepito laughs, clapping Zim on the back. "As you can see, I'm no normal human myself." He gestures to his horns.

Zim worms away from him and looks to Gaz for support. She just shrugs at him. There's no point in arguing the obvious. Besides, she's gonna get her hands on the GS with these guys.


	7. Hand to Hand Maniplutation

Dear returning readers,

I've recently revised the entire story. It is not necessary that you reread the whole thing because there are no major changes in plot, I just wanted to alter the writing style and give it a little face-lift.

So, while I'd recommend you reread it for a more pleasant experience, you don't need to.

Thank you,  
Bad

* * *

It's been three days since they met Pepito and Todd and for whatever reason Zim still hasn't stopped throwing a hissy fit over it. He's like a toddler but with more energy and Gaz is about to strangle him. She theorizes the only reason she hasn't yet is because she gets breaks from him. Unlike her situation with her stupid brother, who she has to live with.

But if Gaz doesn't go to Zim's house after school, he's going to go to her place. And that's unbelievably worse.

At least she's got her games to keep her occupied. Zim mostly talks to himself anyway.

She lounges on Zim's couch and calmly swirls the joystick to collect another flurry of loot while Zim stomps through the living room for the sixth time that night, fiddling with some sort of tech and muttering angrily to himself. Gaz would think he's frustrated with the device if every time he walked through this room he didn't glance at her every two seconds to see if she's paying attention to him. She makes it a point not to. And there's no way she's asking him what's wrong. That is out of the question. If he wants something, he can come to _her_ and _beg_ for her concern. Then she might consider giving it to him.

If he's got a problem with her he can say it directly. None of this passive-aggressive nonsense.

But the passive-aggressive nonsense continues for another forty-five minutes.

It's getting late and just as Gaz is starting to think another uneventful day with Zim has gone by with him awkwardly ignoring her yet insisting she comes over to his base, he finally walks up to her. He stands over her as she lays on her back over his couch and he almost looks smug - she expects that it's his weird height thing - until she glances away from her game to look him in the eyes. He flinches and all his bravo is gone.

"G-Gaz." His voice cracks, then he clears his throat and folds his hands behind his back. He takes a deep breath, visibly steadying himself to finally talk about whatever he's been stewing on

"What did you see in those dirt children?"

Gaz takes her time destroying the last few enemies between her character and the save point, finishing off with an expert combo before she pauses the game to answer without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Are you referring to those guys we literally found in the dirt?"

" _Yes,"_ he hisses. "In _my_ crater."

"Right…" she sighs and blows a stray piece of hair from her face.

 _Why am I not surprised?_

 _Oh right, because Zim has a constant, crippling need for validation and he's obviously afraid he won't get it if I find someone_ better. But to be fair, that's what she's been doing on purpose.

"The demon-boy is going to loan me the first ever Game-Slave to play. That's enough to get on my good side."

Zim's hands come together in front of him to wring together and alternate scratching at his wrists. Which is new.

"Yes, yes, but _before_ that. What about before that?"

Gaz blinks at the flashing screen in front of her and thinks back. _Before that? What happened before that?_

"Oh…" She shrugs and finally closes the game. She sits up and Zim jumps back away from her personal space. "Well, that Todd guy looked like a pussy, but I'm pretty sure he knew what was up, y'know? Not too annoying immediately either." She stretches luxuriously, not caring how frantically Zim moves to avoid her arms. "Just wasn't a bad change of pace."

"What about the tall one?" He asks impatiently, bouncing on his toes. Zim looks more manic than usual with his antenna pressed so firmly to the top of his head that Gaz can hardly see them.

"Zim…" Gaz considers him carefully. Zim usually has something different going on in his head than what's going on in reality but this time she has a feeling she can peek into it while the conversation is happening rather than thinking on it afterward. "Have I showed interest in going back to the crater in the last few days?"

"No, but Zim did not ask-" She holds her hand up to make him stop speaking and he obeys. He's talking in the third-person again but she has resolved not to snap at him for it again.

"I know what you asked me." She says patiently. She crosses her right leg over the left and sits back against the couch, comfortable in the dent she's started making for herself there. "Sit down."

Zim sits on the floor in front of her as has become a habit for them. She wonders if he sits on the couch when she isn't there.

But it seems Zim is too distressed to be perfectly obedient. Just as she's dropping her hand to rest it in her lap he starts firing words at her again.

"Miss Gaz is never so friendly with humans, especially strange ones! Zim knows this because he has known Miss Gaz for many of this planet's rotations and she has only been friendly to him very recently." Zim leans in closer to her knees but remains sitting on his knees. His hands keep fidgeting, ticking on the living room tiles even though the black gloves he always wears.

Gaz narrows her eyes at him, scrutinizing as she looks down her nose at him. His gaze lingers on his tapping claws before slowly trailing up as he squirms and shrinks into himself as the long seconds go by. She is in no hurry to give him his answers mostly because she thinks the questions themselves are stupid. Saying she was friendly to the boys they met is a gross overstatement. Saying she wasn't hostile would be more accurate and there simply wasn't a reason to be aggressive to them.

But Zim doesn't really want an answer, he wants to be validated.

"Zim," She repeats slowly. "Are you jealous?"

Several expression twists up Zim's face in less than a second. Shock, horror, disgust, denial. A perfect symphony that can be summed up in one word: defensive.

 _"_ _Jealous?"_ he spits out as though the word is a vile slur. "Zim is not _jealous._ To be jealous would be implying that those children had something that Zim does not! Zim is so amazing that he has everything they could ever want and more. Zim is so amazing that Miss Gaz spends her afternoons at his wonderful base instead of their _dirt-hole!_ They are the ones who should be jealous of Zim!"

Gaz lets Zim's words hang in the air for another long moment. She switches her crossed legs, almost kicking him, and tilts her head while she stares down at the little alien. His antenna are raised like a cat's haunches and she eyes them with interest before her eyes drop back down to his claws.

She takes a deep breath in through her nose.

"... You're right, Zim." She says finally and he jerks back as if she had kicked him. "You don't need to be jealous of them."

"... Eh?"

"I spend almost all of my free time here," she continues. "So, why are you upset?"

"Zim… Zim is not upset…" He seems confused and his claws tangle to start wringing together again like he did when he was anxiously in thought a few moments again, his antenna drooping back down.

"You're talking in the third person again." She reminds him and his jaw clenches. "Why are _you_ upset?" She asks again.

"... Zim is… _I_ have been upset because Miss Gaz went to appreciate the destruction Z- I caused and instead, Miss Gaz became _friendly_ with other humans who took my crater." Zim says bitterly, his antenna pressed to his skull again.

Gaz nods in understanding. It's really not surprising. Zim wants everything to be about him, as usual, and when he was preening under Gaz's attention his thunder was stolen by a couple of guys in a dirt fort with an old gaming console.

But Gaz is starting to wonder if jealousy would be too human for Zim. She thinks that perhaps, he doesn't feel jealousy as she does over a vintage gaming console. Perhaps he feels something more like possessiveness like a dog would or some other animal that's capable of feeling in a way Gaz can't fully understand. It would certainly explain why he would act with similar disdain around Snake-Bites when he has yet to interrupt them while Gaz is in the middle of 'admiring' any of Zim's accomplishments.

The possibility is enough to give her pause. Possessiveness is more dangerous than dependence because it comes with a sense of entitlement. Entitlement certainly wouldn't be out of character for Zim.

"Take off your gloves," She orders. "And give them to me." She holds out her hand and waits for Zim to obey her.

Possessiveness may be more dangerous, but that doesn't mean it cannot be used.

Zim stares at her open hand, confused and more hesitant than he was when she told him to remove his disguise on that first evening together. She's never seen him without his gloves and she wants them off now, so she waits patiently.

But Zim does obey her. He plucks off the tight gloves to reveal a pair of green, three-digit claws. They're the same color as the rest of his skin and just as featureless. He rubs the material of the gloves between his claws before dropping them in her hand and she wonders how he perceives the texture as they land limply in her palm. They feel smooth, almost like latex, but there's an odd sort of grit to them that's enough to be noticeable but not enough to be irritating to her human skin. She wonders if they're made from another alien life form or synthetic as she notes the lack of structure in the finger parts of the gloves which can only mean that Zim's claws are hard on their own.

She drops the gloves on the couch next to her and Zim's gone back to rubbing his hands together and scratching at his wrists only this time there are no gloves to protect his skin. She holds out both her hands in front of him this time.

"Give me your hands."

He immediately pulls his hands into his chest, coiling away from her in a motion she would consider protective of them if he weren't already starting to scratch his small palms. She feels a flash of irritation from his rejection since he's normally so obedient but reminds herself that she needs to be patient.

"Zim, give me your hands."

He looks from Gaz's face to her open palms and Gaz thinks that really, she should be the one to be more hesitant to touch him since he's the one with actual weapons for fingers. Gaz just keeps her hands open and waits. Even as Zim appears to fight with himself over it she feels more confident he won't reject her the longer he hesitates.

And, eventually, he does unfurl his hands from his chest and reaches out to her slowly. He watches her hands anxiously even as he does so and if he's worried one for her hands is about to ball up into a fist and slam into his cheek.

He stops moving just as his hands are right over hers, trembling slightly. Then he drops them the last inch to rest them on Gaz's. Before she can even begin to take in the texture of Zim's skin his whole body shudders.

Gaz raises an eyebrow at him, used to his odd reactions but not quite that odd. "Is there a problem?"

"You humans just have… so many appendages." Zim grits out but doesn't pull away from the contact. "Why do you even need so many fingers?"

Gaz snorts and can't help but wrap her fingers around him teasingly as he squirms uncomfortably. The simple reason of _strangeness_ is a refreshing contrast to all of Zim's heavy emotions.

"Helps us hold things, I guess." Gaz almost smiles at Zim. Zim's three claws appear to each function like a thumb and she'd be lying if she said she was interested in how Irkens operated with so _few_ fingers.

Zim's hands are cool and smooth. His palms are soft and fleshy but his claws gradually harden towards the tips like bone or an exoskeleton. There's no visual indication of the gradient and if she was not feeling it herself she would probably never know his palms felt so wildly different from the tips of his claws.

"You're hands are so soft all over…" Zim observes as she runs her thumbs over his palms in interest. He's no doubt having a similar experience to her. "Except for your _weird_ flat little claws that don't seem very useful at all."

Gaz shrugs. "They're useful for little things, I suppose."

Zim turns her hands over to examine them more closely. He presses one of his fingers into the small bones on the back of her hand to make her fingers unfurl slightly.

"I've never let anyone hold my hands like this before," Gaz tells him honestly. "It's very special." She adds slightly less honestly.

"Really? But your hands are always naked."

"Yes, but you never see anyone touch them, do you?"

Zim shakes his head.

"I don't wear gloves because I like to be able to touch things and even though they're bare I'm always in charge of who touches them," Gaz explains. "I'll let you touch my hands more but it's a privilege that I'm in control of. Understand?"

Zim nods and his face relaxes into a fascinated 'o-face,' suddenly more enthralled by the concept of Gaz's hands than disturbed by them. He seems satisfied by getting this exclusive privilege from her but another shiver wracks his spine.

"The enzymes on your human skin tingle," Zim explains but he doesn't drop her hands and she doesn't make him.


	8. Do You Feel Gooey?

Zim calmed down after that, though not enough to react well when Gaz told him she was going to the crater after school instead of straight to his base.

"Why are you going there?" Zim whines as he follows Gaz into the city. "You said that only I was good enough for you!"

That was most definitely _not_ what Gaz said.

"I'm going to get the Game Slave I was promised. Pepito texted me that I could pick it up today."

"He's _texting you!"_ Zim wails, drawing glances from other pedestrians.

 _"_ _Yes_. _"_ Gaz hisses, grabbing his arm in a bruising grip. "Do not shout in my ear. Of course, he texted me. We exchanged numbers. You saw it happen."

Zim yelps in pain but it's not enough to make him give up. "I do not like the way the demon-boy and his rat friend associate with you so casually." He spits, more quietly this time, at least.

"Get over it." Gaz just tightens her grip, ignoring Zim's cries of "ow, ow, ow!" as he dances on his toes. "You don't decide who associates with me or how. Cry a river for all I care but if you're going to be around me do it _quietly."_ She punctuates by finally letting go of Zim's arm.

He whimpers and nurses it in his opposing hand but otherwise sulks quietly.

"If you really don't like them," Gaz continues, her tone biting. "Then go home. You don't have to follow me."

Zim gasps, aghast at the very suggestion. _"Never!"_

On one hand, Gaz is pleased to have Zim following her around like a lost puppy. On the other hand, he's still very annoying. They have a long way to go.

Gaz can feel Zim glaring at the back of her neck but she ignores it and keeps her pace. It's all part of making it clear to Zim that she doesn't change for anyone-

Then she feels him get closer, his stare more intense on the back of her neck like an annoying mosquito. But she won't give him the satisfaction. He-

He slips a gloved claw down the back of her sweater. She immediately recoils from the unsolicited touch and slaps his hand away, turning to face him quickly.

"What the _fuck-!"_

Zim is clutching something tiny between his claws and is examining it too closely to pay attention to what would have been his impending doom. Gaz's rage is put on pause as she curiously steps closer to see what he's holding.

"A bug, I believe," Zim explains, letting the little metal device no bigger than the tip of Gaz's fingernail fall into his palm so she can take a look for himself.

 _"_ _Dib…"_ She hisses, taming the device from Zim's palm. Her anger does not dissipate. It's merely directed away from Zim.

She grits her teeth and shoves the big back into Zim's hand. That's her brother's tech alright. And she's as pissed at him for putting it on her as she is at herself for not noticing it sooner. _How long has that been there?_

"Miss- "

"You keep it."

He gives her a questioning look.

"But I- "

"I'm not saying let it keep recording you, disable it." She turns to keep walking to the crater, refusing to let her brother's shit ruin her plans for the day.

Meanwhile, Zim is already reaching into his Pak and pulls out something that looks like an odd pen. He touches the alien technology to the bug and Gaz assumes that he obediently disabled it. Especially since he has more reason to want it gone than she does.

"I'll get into his files later and get rid of any audio or location tracking that thing has already done." Just because Dib probably already heard it doesn't mean it's okay to let him keep any incriminating evidence on his computer and probably a backup drive. "You see if there's anything you can make that could scan for that sort of thing. That way we can quickly find out if he's got any of my other clothes or room bugged."

Predictably, Zim lights up at being given an assignment that suits his interests.

"Yes, Miss Gaz! I can do that!" He shouts, drawing stares again. She waves to signal him to lower his voice but doesn't reprimand him too harshly this time.

Unfortunately, he doesn't get the signal. Or he's just not paying attention. Probably both.

"I'll make the best device-detecting device! You'll be so impressed Miss Gaz! I- !"

Gaz grabs Zim's upper arm firmly to get his attention but doesn't apply enough pressure to hurt him this time.

"I'm sure you will, Zim. I want you to impress me. But you only need to _show_ me." She's still walking but has become more conscious of her strides to match his so they don't trip over each other when she leans in close to whisper to him. "What you do to impress me is just for us, Zim. If you impress me, you have every right to be proud, but you want to keep it private, right?"

Despite her careful pace, Zim stumbles over his own feet for a moment, but her steady hand leading him helps him stay upright.

"I… I…"

Such a thing probably hasn't occurred to him before. Gaz isn't deaf, blind, and dumb. She knows how much Zim likes to show off. But the same pride that he uses to be flashy could be twisted into something that makes Zim keep his mouth shut if Gaz plays it right. She leans closer and speaks even softer like she's sharing a very special secret only for Zim that he has to focus to hear. Even his wig shifts a bit from the antenna underneath it shifting towards her.

"It only makes sense that you'd want to keep it private… I mean, you don't want _Dib_ to know what's happening between us, right?"

Obviously, Zim doesn't. That's why he got rid of the bug. Starting off easy, with a premise that he can eagerly accept, and then…

"Then don't announce it to everyone on the street, alright? What you do for me is just for me to appreciate. It's _special_ because it's just for me." Since Zim identifies so heavily with what he does if what he does is special that by extension should make Zim feel…

A soft gasp leaves Zim's mouth. The softest sound that's probably ever come out of him.

"... special…" Zim breathes out. Then he nods quickly in agreement. "Yes. I want this to be private." He says decisively, as though those have been his feelings all along.

Gaz relaxes her grip on his arm until it falls down to rest on her bag again as she straightens and returns her pace to normal.

"Good." Her voice is back to its usual drawl as well. The only thing that's different is how close Zim is walking behind her, but that's probably fine.

Her focus returns to the task at hand. Getting her hands on that vintage Game Slave. Her stony expression and likely the green, bipedal dog behind her keep people from getting in her way despite the crowded sidewalk.

Wind whips past them channeled through the buildings and cutting through her sweater harshly. The colder months are approaching and her gaze unintentionally catches on a shop window where clothing is being advertised. She could use a scarf and probably a new pair of gloves. Zim will surely want to follow her on any shopping trips she makes but his behavior has already improved so much she might not even hate that.

Todd and Pepito are already in the crater, sitting shoulder to shoulder as they share comic books on one of their many reclaimed cushions and sharing a blanket. This time, Gaz and Zim make no special effort to hide their entry.

Pepito greets them in his first language and Gaz responds in kind. The unexpected ways in which she relates to the Antichrist seem to build with every encounter. Todd joins although his accent is more clumsy and Zim, not wanting to be outdone, surely, also switches to Spanish. She remembers him telling her all about the advanced language system he was embedded with at birth so it's no surprise that he sounds as natural in Spanish as he does in English.

Pepito holds the Game Slave out for Gaz without being asked and as Gaz approaches she notices the way Todd shifts away from his _friend_ a bit confirming that which she was already suspicious of.

She pretends not to notice and takes the game from Pepito with a nod of thanks before turning away.

"Not going to hang around?" Pepito teases with mock disappointment. Zim, as is to be expected, fails to recognize it as a joke and hisses.

"No thanks," She tosses the boys a look over her shoulder. "I don't think I could stand third-wheeling for very long."

Third wheeling because… Well, Zim doesn't count. He probably doesn't know where he is over half the time, much less the social nuances taking place in front of his face.

Todd hides his grin with his hand as though mimicking the shame someone told him he should feel from being called out without actually feeling it while Pepito laughs openly.

"Fair enough."

They share a wave and with that easy interaction Zim and Gaz climb back out of the crater. Friends that you don't actually have to do anything with are the best kind.

They're silent as they traverse the wasteland back to the city and once again she can feel Zim seething, and hear him muttering to himself, behind her. And again, she doesn't ask and just waits for him to address her.

"... I don't like the way the demon child talks to you." He finally snarls at the barren ground.

"So you've said. Why?"

"He's just- Friendly- And- !"

"Friendly?" She raises her eyebrow at him as he strides up next to her. She knows Zim hardly has a concept of platonic human relationships, let alone something like romantic attraction, so she's curious to see how far he gets with this.

"Yes! But, like, _gooey_ friendly."

 _"_ _Gooey friendly."_ Her lip curls in response to his word choice. Gaz supposes _gooey_ is one way to describe a crush. An exceptionally nasty one.

Still, his complete misread or her dynamic with Pepito is laughable. So naturally, she laughs at him.

"You've got it all wrong." She waves at him 'no' for further emphasis.

Rather than trying to argue immediately, Zim waits for her to prove him. Which is definitely progress despite how put-out he still looks.

"Pepito is regular friendly with me, for his personality. If he's gooey friendly with anyone, it's Todd."

Zim's eyes widen in surprise, visibly caught off-guard. This must be a plot twist to him although to anyone with any social awareness Gaz is sure it must be as obvious as… well, a fenced-off wasteland in the middle of the city.

Rigidly, he straightens his posture and stares off ahead into the middle distance while he ponders this information.

"... The… rat child?" He brings one gloved claw up to rub his chin. "... Why?"

"Are you asking me why some people experience same-gender attraction?" Gaz asks as she stuffs her hands into her pockets in response to a particularly strong gust of wind.

Zim shakes his head and it's easy to guess why. Surely he's at least heard of it if not witnessed it after being on Earth for so long. And if he somehow missed it, Gaz can't imagine why it would make much of a difference to him as everything about Earth animals is alien to him in every sense of the word.

"No, why not Miss Gaz?"

She presses her lips together to keep away the amused smile that threatens to overtake the corners of her lips.

"You're asking why he's not _gooey_ about me specifically?"

Zim nods, predictably unaware of just how revealing his hilariously innocent question is.

"Isn't everyone?"

Gaz chooses to ignore the obvious reveal Zim was under the impression that _everyone_ , which would include her brother, is _gooey_ about her. She takes a breath in through her nose as she reminds herself of his alien indifference to things like that and lets the air out through her mouth steadily to avoid expressing her visceral repulsion to Zim's accidental implications.

"No, Zim. Not everyone is gooey about me." She answers calmly. "Humans tend to have preferences for those sort of things, personalities and physical attributes that are appealing differ from person to person."

While Zim considers this, she can't resist interrupting his already shaky train of thought by giving him a look she knows he won't understand from beneath her eyelashes.

"Do you feel _gooey_ about me?"

Rather than being embarrassed or defensive like she suspected, he seems genuinely surprised and confused.

"Zim- I don't feel _gooey."_

Unlike a human, Gaz is pretty sure he could never lie about this so convincingly. Zim can hardly lie about things he understands, especially to her.

Now it's her turn to consider his answer. Gaz had been so sure that Zim had his own weird sort of crush on her based on his behavior but…

 _No, I've done it again._ She mentally kicks herself. _I've been reading him like I would a human. Zim might be a person, but he definitely isn't human._

She definitely isn't wrong about Zim being attached to her but she needs to stop thinking that he's attached like a human, especially when he might not even be capable of such a thing. He's attached in some _other_ way and she can't afford not to calibrate for that, no matter how similarly this attachment seems to manifest itself right now. That's when leading Zim along like she has him on a leash will change from fun to dangerous.

"Does Miss Gaz feel gooey about me?" He asks curiously, his wig shifting as his antennae perk beneath it.

"No," She answers honestly. Gooey isn't the word for it. She definitely feels something around Zim, though. Usually, it's annoying but often enough it's empowerment and self-satisfaction, which is why she's keeping him for now.


End file.
